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Website critique please

SERGIOSERGIO subscriber Posts: 16
edited July 2008 in Website Critique
I Got my website up and running for my part time direct mailing business.
 
The point of this website is to be able to sell my services to businesses in the town i live in and other businesses in nearby towns. It is also meant to be an online community for Kansas business owners.
 
Any suggestions, pointers any advise would be really appreciated.
 
Thank you
 
 
 

http://businessassociatesonline.com/ 
 
SERGIO7/21/2008 1:06 PM
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Comments

  • VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    Here`s the notes that I made while looking at the site:Neat idea - you may be on to something here...Your home page is a bit wordy, you could say more with less.Unless you intend to soft-sell your services, there is no mention of the mailing service from the home page.  I would plan for the future and place an ad for my service in the right column.  In the future, you could sell other businesses ad space on the home page.On your services page: Again, wordy.  Also, too many passive words.  Again, you can say a lot more with a little less.You need to explain the disconnect from "For $150 you get ..." one-thousand advertisements and the 3,000 minimum mailing in the prior paragraph.  Does that mean that my minimum cost is $450?Composed this on a Mac, didn`t you?  Your bullets in the "For $150 You Get" list are anything but bullets."No charge for color": Is this four-color CYMK or one additional highlight color?Hope this helps...
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  • SERGIOSERGIO subscriber Posts: 16
    To Videography 
     
    Yeah i also think some pages have big paragraphs but i want to answer any questions prospects might have. Yes  the minimum cost is $450 but if its your first time using the service its $405. I`m using a PC.  CYMK ??? selling ad space on my website to Kansas businesses?? Like listings   Thanks for the critique Videography  i appreciate it
     
     
    To Campsteve
     
    I have a map of the U.S because i could not find a good picture of of Kansas state that was entirely blue, so i just put that picture up. I was thinking of editing that picture to make the state of Kansas flash a little.  
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  • SERGIOSERGIO subscriber Posts: 16
    If you guys were considering my service what would you want to know or what question would you have?? Just thought I would through that out their  
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  • VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member

    To Videography 
     
    Yeah i also think some pages have big paragraphs but i want to answer any questions prospects might have. Yes  the minimum cost is $450 but if its your first time using the service its $405. I`m using a PC.  CYMK ??? selling ad space on my website to Kansas businesses?? Like listings Like I said, you can say more with less text, and turn it into positive, action verbs instead of using so much passive voice.  "Will you ...?" is passive, "You Will...!" is active.  You have far too much passive in the text.I don`t see any explanation that my minimum is $450, I had to think that out.  Don`t surprise your customers.  If your minimum is 3,000 ads, then where, how or will a customer ever pay $150 ???  Sounds deceptive to me.  You need to be more clear here.  If a customer will never pay only $150, then take that text out of the web site.  It`s confusing and misleading.  Stick with the 15-cents per ad delivery.If you are going into the publishing business then you really need to know and be able to tell the customer the printing technicals.  What are the printer`s specs?  Is the color four-color litho or is it one highlight color?  If the latter, do I get to pick the color?  Do you need color masks?  Do you do full-bleed or is there a border or margin?  Is your printing done by a union shop?  do you provide proof sheets?  Anyone who has been to a printer with a brochure or post-card ad would likely ask you these questions.  You need to be ready.
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  • cberenycbereny subscriber Posts: 0
    Congratulations!
    I would make the font much smaller, map smaller and make sure that all your services are more visible. If I was a visitor, I might not even see that you are a direct mail company. The front page is confusing as to what you do.
    I would also make all your title bars have drop down menus so that the visitor can see all that is in the site without going back and forth.
    Good Luck!
    Connie Bereny                                                                               cbereny@alese.com</A>
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