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10 Word Elevator Pitch

GeecheGeeche subscriber Posts: 2
edited November 2006 in Elevator Pitches
Entrepreneurs are made at home we help parents do this.
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    InactiveMemberInactiveMember subscriber Posts: 12
    You need a period after the word "home". Otherwise your elevator pitch is a run-on sentence.
    "Entrepreneurs are made at home. We help parents do this."
    Even with correction, your pitch is unclear. What is "this"? I cannot see any connection between the two sentences. It`s as if you had said "Entrepreneurs are made at home. I am wearing a blue shirt." It`s a non-sequitor. Please connect the dots for me. Use as few words as possible while you`re at it.
    Spend a few hours thinking about what you *offer* instead of what you *do*. What you *do* is of interest only to you. Your elevator pitch should communicate what you *offer*.
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