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please review http://drboy77.com

JobsandeJobsande subscriber Posts: 4
edited September 2008 in Website Critique
Hi,
I`ve been working crazy hours on this site for the last 3 weeks, built it myself from scratch.  Right now it doesn`t look "professional" but I will be meeting with a web designer soon to totally re-design it.   I want to gather as much info as I can so when my site is redesigned it will be 200% better.
You can answer the following questions or make any other comments you think of:What
didn’t you understand? What other
info do you need?Was
it user friendly? (could you navigate the site easily?)Any
recommendations on improving it to grab your attention even more?
Thanks so much!
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    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    It would help if you put the site address in your original post:
    http:\drboy77.comdefault.aspx
    Your right, it needs help.
    The home page is pretty explanatory, but too long.  Maybe take the bottom half to another page - "What I did with my extra money"?  Or as a teaser: "Have you ridden a camel today?"
    Stop using "$" for "S".  It`s the trademark of a get-rich-quick scheme and useless for search engines.  Nobody does a Google search for "ca$h".  Speaking of search engines, put more into your page titlees.  That is the site "description" that Google puts on the results page.
    Be wary of using get-rich-quick terms like "Make Big Money" and "Lifestyle you`ve always dreamed of".  Be more creative to separate yourself from the other "get rich" websites.  Your copy tells me very little that is any different from the hundreds of other "make money on eBay" sites.  If you aren`t like them, then get out of that box.
    The text on the "Free" page is all passive - "have, will, were" are all passive text.  "If I can do it, so can you" is OK because "so can you" is positive.  Think: tell, don`t ask.  Educate, don`t equivocate.  "You will" is more active than "you can".  See the difference? (You`re an English teacher?  Sorry, couldn`t resist the irony).
    Your "About Me" page is pretty good, but move the text up to fill the space around the top photo.  Hey, English teacher - check your grammar: "Have You Rode Your Camel Today?"  (I`m not being mean, but if you tout your job as an english teacher, then your text in the website should be perfect.)
    Your "FAQ" page contains one technical error.  The law on this is not yet clear, but generally  it is not any more illegal to sell an eBook than a physical book as long as only one copy of it exists.  Your tone here is also an insult because it assumes that your customers are thieves before the fact.  You are also making hollow threats, including one that you cannot enforce.Videography9/23/2008 12:31 PM
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    JobsandeJobsande subscriber Posts: 4
    wow Videography, I`m blown away.  Thank you SO MUCH for the truly insightful comments.  You really seem to know what you`re talking about...  When I redesign my website I will definitely take everything you say into consideration.  I feel indebted to you, is there anything you would like me to look over for you or can I help you out in any way? 
    Thanks again,
    Jordan
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    JobsandeJobsande subscriber Posts: 4
    a couple quick questions for you Videography --
    1. you said "Speaking of search engines, put more into your page titlees."  What is the page title, is it the header "make big money on eBay - live the life you always dreamed" or is it the tabs like "home", "about me", "FAQs", etc.  Or is it something else?
    2. Could you give me an example of what you mean by "put more" into my page titles.  I totally agree with you, I just don`t know what exactly to put
    3. You said "If I can do it, so can you" is OK.  So should I keep that or change it?
    Thanks again, your the man
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    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    3: "If I can do it, so can you" is very positive - keep it.
    2: You need a <Title> header inside the <Head> region. For this page it`s:
    <head><title> please review http://drboy77.com - Page 1 </title></head>
    1: The page title shows up on the tabs of the browser.
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    JobsandeJobsande subscriber Posts: 4
    Okay, thanks again Videography.  I took a look at your website, MannMade Digital Video and I have some suggestions if you would like to hear them... let me know.
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    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    Mine is an old site.  The business is on hold while I recover from a cross-country move and a life-saving surgery - almost at the same time.  I just left the old site up to keep it in the search engine`s scope.
    I am interested in your input, though because I am re-starting the business soon and will have a new website.  It`s just not ready for critique.  So please send it to me at my email address (in my profile).
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    JobsandeJobsande subscriber Posts: 4
    just sent to Steve1.  good luck with all your endeavors.
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