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Personal Shoppping Service for Gifts Elevator Pitch

lolostxlolostx subscriber Posts: 6
edited March 2008 in Elevator Pitches
Hi Everyone,
I`ve been attending a Ladies Who Launch Business Incubator and our last assignment was to create an elevator pitch and practice it with ten people.  I thought this would be a great forum to get feedback on my elevator pitch.  Please let me know what you think of my pitch.  Is it effective?  Does it make you want to purchase my services?  Is there anything I should take out or add? Thanks in advance for your input.

Working and living in New York City I know firsthand how family, social, and career commitments often leave you with no time for anything else, much less gift buying and gift giving.   It’s often a struggle to find and maintain a balance between all of your commitments.  My company - That Perfect Something can help you achieve this balance by assisting you with all your gift shopping needs.  That Perfect Something - offers Gift Consulting, Gift Concierge, and Gift Shopping Companion services.

If you are tired of spending hours and days searching for the perfect gift or if you need help finding more creative gift ideas, our Gift Consulting Service is perfect for you.

 Just share some information about your intended gift recipient`s personality and interests; we`ll search the web, visit stores, and research products to find unique and creative gift ideas customized specifically for your gift recipient. 

If you’ve found the perfect gift but just can’t find the time to shop for it or hate navigating crowded stores and dealing with frenzied shoppers, you can simply tell us what gift you are looking for and your Gift Concierge will shop for the gift,  gift wrap it, and mail the gift to your gift recipient.  

If you are clueless about where to go shopping or simply just want one-on-one assistance with your gift shopping, a Gift Shopping Companion will shop with you and help you select the perfect gift for your gift recipients.

Why spend another minute worrying about finding the time to buy gifts, racking your brain trying to find the perfect gift, or feeling stressed out about going gift shopping.  Instead, let us do the work so you can reclaim your time and peace of mind.  We’ll help you find “That Perfect Something”.


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    lolostxlolostx subscriber Posts: 6
    Hi everyone,
    Here is another version of my elevator pitch.  Let me know which you prefer and which is more effective. thx.

    It’s 6PM on a Saturday night and you suddenly remember that your friend’s birthday party is in two hours.  You panic because you realize that you forgot to get her a gift.  You debate whether you should run to Bloomies and pick something up or whether you should re-gift the reed diffuser set that’s been sitting in your closet for months.  You choose the latter option because you can’t stomach the thought of navigating a crowded store trying to find a birthday gift. 

    You present the gift to your friend, but when she opens it you notice the hurt look on her face.  You groan inwardly as it suddenly dawns on you why your friend looks hurt. You re-gifted the gift she gave you for your birthday a few months ago.

    Nowadays with our busy schedules, it’s inevitable that you’ll find yourself in a similar situation. But you know what?  You don’t have to be the person who runs out at the last minute to shop for gifts, or the person who always gives run of the mill gifts, or who just re-gifts.  That Perfect Something’s Gift Consulting, Gift Concierge, and Gift Shopping Companion services is the perfect solution to your gift shopping woes.

    We search the web, visit stores, and research products to find creative gift ideas.  We’ll also shop for gifts and mail them to the recipients.   And, our Gift Shopping Companions will accompany you on your shopping trips and help you select the perfect gift.  “That Perfect Something” assists you with all your gift shopping needs so you can reclaim your time and peace of mind.

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    MdcnMnMdcnMn subscriber Posts: 10
    Personally, I feel the first one is more effective. Your second one is too informal.  I think the best idea would be to take some elements from both and create a third one.
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