WE'VE MOVED!

We are proud to announce our NEW community destination. Engage with resident experts and fellow entrepreneurs, and learn everything you need to start your business. Check out the new home of StartupNation Community at startupnation.mn.co
Options

http://www.anitajamesvirtualpa.co.uk

anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
edited December 2008 in Website Critique
Hi everyone,
 
I would very much appreciate it if you could let me have some constructive criticism regarding my Virtual PA web site. 
 
Many thanks in anticipation.
 
Anita
anitaj0812/11/2008 5:46 AM
· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+

Comments

  • Options
    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    First critique:  You didn`t provide a link to your web site or put it into your StartupNation Profile.......
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    JmesJmes subscriber Posts: 4
    Hi anitaj08,
    Although I am not that familiar with the products you`re offering or the market you`re advertising to.. but I _do_ have a few suggestions
    1.Presenting your products.
    On my first visit I found it hard to know what your site offers...if I could suggest posting your products on the front page.  .. or just a short version of them.. a small explanation with maybe a picture... those could make the visitor`s experience more enjoyable
    2. I think you can remove the paypal banner from your front page.. as a costumer it would just seem like you`re not aiming for my interest, you`re aiming for my money. if a costumer would want to buy 1 of your products or hire your service, he would look for the payment options (the paypal banner in the price list page is a good example)
    3. Price list: I think you should label your "Price list" tab to "Products" or to "Purchase" or something people would find more appealing...
    On a general note, I think your site`s appearance is strictly professional...   if that is the specific crowd you are targeting than it`s all good. but if not, the general user might find it off-putting to have a text only, strictly professional web site. 
    I hope this was as constructive as I tried it to be..  and not offensive (I`m just trying to help. share my experience as a visitor)
    I sincerely wish you the best of luck
    Jmes
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Hi Jmes
    Many thanks for your comments - I really appreciate them!
    As a Virtual PA, my target audience is primarily Cardiac Surgeons/Cardiologists with a few other specialties thrown in for good measure. I am offering a digital transcription and powerpoint presentation service for these professionals - typing their correspondence, reports, manuscripts, training materials, etc.
     
    I`ll remove the PayPal banner - I don`t like it very much on the intro page. Also I`ll beef up the intro and amend the Price List to Purchase, etc..............
     
    I have some lovely graphics which I can insert to make it look a bit more presentable and will do that now.  I would appreciate it if you could let me know how they look a little later on.
     
    Thank you so much for all your help.
     
    Kind regards
     
    Anita
     
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Hi Steve,
    Many thanks for your response to my request for constructive criticism.  I did include my url address but perhaps it hasn`t shown up.  Therefore, I am including below:
     

    http://www.anitajamesvirtualpa.co.uk

     
    Many thanks in anticipation.
     
    Kind regards
     
    Anita
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    WeblineWebline subscriber Posts: 13 Bronze Level Member
    " As a Virtual PA, my target audience is primarily Cardiac
    Surgeons/Cardiologists with a few other specialties thrown in for good
    measure. I am offering a digital transcription and powerpoint
    presentation service for these professionals - typing their
    correspondence, reports, manuscripts, training materials, etc. "
    This, in a nutshell, is primarily what you need to state on your main page ... if people read your main page and still wonder what you do, or need to ask if and how it benefits them, or don`t know if your service is specialized or even applicable for their needs, then you aren`t getting your message up front and making it easy to understand the users benefit, which is all the user will care about .... your visitors may not care what you do in general, they want to know what you can do for them.
    You know your business, we don`t .... look at it from the perspective of not knowing you or what you do, and see if you would get your message across in a few seconds. 
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    Got it this time.
    For the professional, uncluttered look, I would give you an "A" grade.
    However, your text is all passive.  Bad.  "We can, you can, if you..." are all passive.  You are asking for their business, but you aren`t telling them "What`s in it for me [the client]"? 
    Here is the very best explanation of Passive Voice that I have ever seen:
    http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/ ... tpass.htmlWrite your copy with this perspective and your site will be a winner.
    You also have some fragmented sentences.  When talking to medical professionals, speak slowly and use complete sentences.  After all, they pay by the hour (LOL).  Actually, English and grammar are not their strong suits, so help them.
    Steve MannVideography12/11/2008 2:14 PM
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Hi Steve
    Many thanks for your comments.  I agree that my text is passive and fragmented.  As an English graduate, I have been told very many times that I speak and write just like a text book and that I should correct this `fault`,  Therefore, as you have seen, I have gone in the opposite direction but it is so nice to hear that I should adopt my previous approach.  I will now sit down and write normally but with more verve and va va voom!! 
     
    Thank you so much for your comments, time and link. 
     
    Kind regards
     
    Anita 
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    I learned to write in the passive voice as an engineering submissive.  (I.E., staff engineer).  We did what made the boss look good, and passive voice allowed them to re purpose our progress reports into what *he* did.  It took me *years* to learn active voice when I want something from someone else.  Try it.  It works. (active) -- I tried it and it worked. (passive).  Which one do you see in advertising most often?
    When it comes to my High-School English grades; well someone had to occupy the lower percentiles.  (Would you believe it was a service to the students further up in the average?)  And I`ve been paying for it since then.Videography12/11/2008 4:19 PM
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Dear M Hall at Webline
     
    Many thanks for your email and response to my request. 
     
    I have implemented the changes you suggested and I hope now to have traffic beating at my `door.`
     
    Kind regards
     
    Anita
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Hi Steve
     
    You can certainly teach me a thing or two!!
    I feel thrilled at the response and guidance I`m getting, as for such a long time I have really struggled! I`m not very good at selling anything let alone the transcription services I`m offering, so your advice is much appreciated.
     
    I have implemented a number of changes and I`m hoping that the medics will be beating a path to my website `door.`
     
    Thanks again,
     
    Kind regards
     
    Anita
     
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    Please write again when you are finished for another critique.  When you come back, there will likely be some different people here so you will get a new perspective.
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1


    Hi Steve


     

    Many thanks for the offer! 

     

    I have re-jigged the text; tried some icons, which I didn`t really like, and changed the theme at the top of the site.

     

    I would greatly appreciate your advice and comments. 

     

    Kind regards

     

    Anita
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    vwebworldvwebworld subscriber Posts: 40
    One thing to work on (if possible with Microsoft office live) is the title of each web page.
    Titles are important factors in search engine results. Right now your home page title is "Home"... not an important keyword for someone searching for a VA.
     
    Also missing is a description meta tag for each page. There are other SEO techniques that should be applied (h1, h2, bold) to your content to help search results.
     
    ~Roland
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1









    Roland


    ,
     









    Many thanks for your comments. I am working on the points in question at the moment.














     







    Kind regards



















     







    Anita






    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
  • Options
    anitaj08anitaj08 subscriber Posts: 1
    Craig
    Many thanks for your illuminating critique of my site and the tutorial on the passive and active voice!!!!! Something which I am well versed in but loathe to use!
    First and foremost, I am based in the UK where digital transcription is a relatively new medium to the medical profession, so I was hoping to scoop up the individuals who are prepared to give it a try. Also, a lot of medics don`t like using the agencies because they only offer transcription, whereas I offer a complete medical secretarial service.Furthermore, outsourcing and remote transcribing using MP3 files is virtually non-existent apart from the London area.
    PowerPoint Presentations are extremely relevant to the local medics/academics I am targeting as they wear two caps, and the main hospital I have worked in is a University hospital where they use presentations all the time!
    With regard to your remarks about PA - I thought everyone knew that it meant Personal Assistant especially when the site is offering typing, transcription and presentation services!!
    The sparsity of the site is intended as I don`t believe in waffling for the sake of it and not only that, medics they will run a mile if you do, and they will presume that you have nothing between your ears!! I have worked for them and around them for many years!!
     
    Once again, thank you for your comments!
    Kind regards
    Anita
     
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter Share on Google+
Sign In or Register to comment.