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Student Suds revisions completed!

brilie54brilie54 subscriber Posts: 4
edited July 2007 in Website Critique
I took everyone`s advice and changed up the copy. I have more changes to make, but thought these matters were the most pressing:- Made the font darker and bigger on all pages. - Changed the homepage content. Shortened it, took out a lot of the jokes, and added in bullet points with links to sign up. - Changed the "services" tab at the top of the page to "Sign Up!"- Changed the "How it works" content. Shortened it, took out many of the jokes, added in a paragraph about our discretion, and tried to answer some of the questions you guys had. Please let me know what you think of the changes. I look forward (I think) to the critiques!www.studentsuds.com


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    LJinSweetwaterLJinSweetwater subscriber Posts: 2
    KUDOS to you!!EXCELLENT job on the revision!!!  I believe this will be an excellent venture for you.  Probably won`t be long until we see student suds all over the country. Best of Luck to you!!
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    GrillCharmerGrillCharmer subscriber Posts: 7
    brilie54, this is such a wonderful concept! I love the site and I did not know services like this existed...  I`ve been out of college for a while, but where were you in 1993!?   Being a graduate of  UCF, I can`t help but root for ya!!!  Go Knights!
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    brilie54brilie54 subscriber Posts: 4
    The way my site is set up....I put in the price of the product, and it automatically inserts it into the description.....ie $239.99. I will ask my web developers if I can change that, but I think it`s pretty solid as far as the e-commerce program goes. Craig, when you say the copy still needs work, are you still talking about the sentence with the `taboo" in it? I really don`t know what to replace that whole introduction with. I think its a good lead in, and I think if I change it a little bit I will need to just wipe it out and start from scratch. I`d love to see an example of what you`d change.   : )
    brilie542007-7-15 1:17:3
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    VideographyVideography subscriber Posts: 401 Silver Level Member
    Your site has improved considerably from what I saw a week ago, and as a parent, I would now want to know more.  I hope that you have plenty of appropriate meta-tags so that a Google search will find you in a couple of years when my kids start going off to college.The second paragraph on the home page is still your weakest point in the site.  "Taboo" bothers me  The literal meaning of "taboo" doesn`t fit the context of the site or your service.  The humor in your supporting pages is appropriate and it does add to the feeling of "family" (temporary mom away from home).  Surely you can do better than something as abstract as "taboo".  (Yuk! comes to mind when I think of burning up two or three hours to do laundry.
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    JoyofPhotographyJoyofPhotography subscriber Posts: 2
    I don`t know if I missed it last time or you just added it....but I
    found the "participating schools" block on the front page of your
    website.  TOTAL bummer that you don`t have it out here in LasVegas
    yet....siiiigggh....maybe contact student government at College of
    Southern Nevada, University of Nevada Las Vegas & Nevada State
    College.  Perhaps they could get you in contact with some budding
    entrepreneuers with in the school to get your ball rolling out

       Although I still absolutely love your idea, I still say
    you need to play up gift certificates / gift cards.  I`m still not
    seeing that?   That`s a lot of money for someone who`s in school
    full time and working part time and they have normal bills as it
    is.  Having a laundry service is a luxury.  You`re excluding
    a big majority of students I say with the price, but I know you`re not
    a charity.  Gift cards or certificates that family could purchase
    on-line for their soon to be college student I bet would generate some
    more income for you.  Hit up the high schools with on line flyers
    or even mailers close to senior graduation to get the word out about
    your services - AND GIFT CARDS that mom, dad, aunt, uncle, grandma
    & grandpa could purchase for them.  I sweeeer too corporations
    have got to love gift cards .. can`t tell you how many I`ve lost and
    not cashed in on.  

    Best wishes to you!!
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    jennn721jennn721 subscriber Posts: 2
    Wow, Great Idea!!! Love the site! Love the pictures! I think it`s superb!
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